These are a few things that absolutely delight my soul: my husbands face, our daughters, my in-laws, our dogs, my friends, salt water, the sunrise and sunset, and flowers. All of these things, in the words of my mother, “warm the cockles of my heart”. These are truly joys in my life.
When my husband walks into the house at the end of the day I feel joy. Even if he’s had a rough day I feel everything is in order when he’s home. I’m at peace. Likewise if I’ve had a really busy day nothing makes me smile brighter than opening the back door to two tails wagging as they greet me. Waking up in the morning to coffee, the sunrise, quiet time and flowers on my kitchen table? Heaven on earth.
One of the first scriptures I ever memorized was Psalm 37:4-5 “Delight yourself in the LORD; And He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD, Trust also in Him, and He will do it.” In my naivety, as a new believer, I thought that if I loved the Lord He would allow prosperity into my life which would make me happy.
Amazingly He has blessed us beyond measure. There was a season when it wasn’t enough. I still wasn’t happy. I wanted more. And I loved the Lord with all my heart and soul. But I loved the luxuries of this world more.
And then the stock market crashed. All of our marital identity, comfort and stability was hanging in the balance. Within a five year time span our little bubble of a world was rocked.
My mother became terminally ill and passed away. I was diagnosed with Lupus. Our oldest daughter left for college. Our youngest daughter came home from boarding school. My father became terminally ill. We pulled our youngest daughter out of college. Our oldest daughter was diagnosed with a systemic disease and had to move back home. My father came to live with us and passed away 13 days later.
I remember praying one morning “Lord, how did this happen?! Your word promises me the desires of my heart! Lord I can’t do this anymore!” In the still of that morning I heard the Holy Spirit whisper “I have given you the desires of your heart you just have to see them”.
Just as quickly as the chaos came the calm started to slowly return. It felt like it took years. God was sorting it out. There is still daily chaos. My perspective has changed though. I see Him first. And through Him I see the love and beauty that was poured into the creation of my husband, my children, our pets, the ocean, the sunrise, the sunset and the flowers. I see the care that He took in placing specific Godly women in my life. I see how sweet He was to put in-laws in my life who love me as their own daughter. He chose all of these things for me! These are the desires of His heart for me.
We have to let God be God. We must remove ourselves from our throne. Take off our crowns. Recognize that the King of Kings is in charge. He loves us. He sees the bigger picture. Trust his faithfulness. Let Him wear the crown today. Let Him show you the true desires of your heart~the things that bring you inexplicable peace and joy.
“The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.”-Lamentations 3:22-23