Keep It Messy

I had a revelation of sorts yesterday. I Googled a home product I was looking for. No joke ten decorating blogs came back in my search engine. I clicked on several. Each blog was a meticulously decorated home with perfect kids, a dog, a perfectly chiseled Daddy, and a ten plus ten Mama. They each blogged about their perfect lives. My first thought was “Dang, Elizabeth, you are doing this Jesus blog thing all wrong! You need to write about how perfect life is. These blogs have serious followers!” Yeah, that thought was gone in a hot second.

Back to my revelation. No wonder young people don’t know who they are. They are trying to start their lives mimicking perfection. Immolating perfect meals, decorating, and child rearing. All based on the fantasy life of someone in blog utopia.

Real life, at least as I remember it? Carting kids all over kingdom come. Preschool, elementary school, middle school. Going to the grocery store while my kids were occupied in higher education. Possibly picking up the house. Folding some laundry. Putting groceries away. Catching an occasional lunch with friends. Maybe getting to the gym. Back home getting work done on the computer. Picking up from school. Eating snacks in the car on the way to dance or ball practice. Getting home at six. Trying to cook with one kid coming off their Adderall in a total melt down. Another kid fighting about doing homework. Husband walks into utter chaos. Eat. Tackle nightly baths. Clean up kitchen. Make lunches for the next school day. Time to breath. Oh wait, nope. Promised husband a “date night”.

Jump in shower for the first time in 24 hours. Shave legs for the first time in two weeks. In the bed by 11PM. “Date night” interrupted by at least one child wanting a glass of water. Husband gets out of bed to get said child glass of water. Returns to “date night” only to find me asleep and snoring…and if we’re being honest…probably drooling. Alarm goes off at 5:30AM and the same routine starts the next day. Anyone? Absolutely no perfection what so ever. I wouldn’t change one single bit of it either. If anything, I’d change being so married to the calendar. Getting to the next thing on the list. Perfection? Ha! That’s laughable.

Perfection is unattainable. Despite what HGTV, Pinterest or  Instagram tell you. You will kill your marriage, your relationship with your kids, your self esteem, and your friendships trying to achieve it.  Life is messy. And it should be. The mess is the good stuff. The mess is where we realize how much we love our husbands. How much we need them. The mess is where we watch our babies achieve milestones. The mess is where we realize we are not perfect. The mess is where we learn what we are made of. And what we are not made of. The mess is where we cry out to God “Lord, what the heck?! This is so hard! Help me, please!” The mess is where humility is born. The mess is where we let go. The mess is where we let God step in. The mess is where we learn that our weakness only means we are getting it right…not wrong like the world wants us to believe. For in that weakness He makes us strong.

In 2 Corinthians 12:9 we read “He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” I  love this scripture, don’t you?!  Modern day cable news has nothing on being radical. Jesus was radical. Paul is telling us that God’s grace is enough for us. His grace covers our faults, our sins, our weaknesses, our idolatry. When we realize that we don’t have to put on heirs? When we recognize we can’t do it all? When we admit that we are living a lie? When we confess to Him our sins of trying to be perfect? That’s where He meets us! The power of the Holy Spirit is allowed to do great and mighty things through us despite ourselves! Is that not the greatest news ever? Do you feel a weight lifted off your shoulders? When that light bulb went off for me I truly felt a literal rebirth. I was so tired and didn’t even realize the extent of it.

Having a true revelation of who we are in Christ should be the goal…not the perfect life. When we see ourselves as Christ sees us? The junk  we worry about no longer matters. All that matters is wanting more of Him. With that comes a complete peace. We are able to love deeper. Give freely without resentment. Yes, I still want an architectural digest looking house. It’s different now. It is not my idol. It is not my consumption. I don’t care if someone has a bigger or better home. I can actually be happy for them because I’m happy with me. My standards are based on the King of Kings. My standards are based on the blood that was shed for me. Not my neighbor, not Instagram, not Facebook, not Bravo, not Glamour. Jesus Christ. Amen?!

So young mothers and wives keep it messy. Perfection is overrated. Love those babies. Hug those necks. Kiss those fat fingers. Steal away in the bathroom with your husband once in awhile. Burn dinner. Run late in carpool. Fold laundry when you can. It is one season in life of many. Live it for Him first. Your weakness will fill you with the Holy Spirit. You’ll be able to love those in your life that matter most. The rest of the crap? It just won’t matter.

“Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: ‘Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all’.”-Proverbs 31:28-29

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Author: This Grace Filled Space

Wife to my college sweet heart for over 27 years, mother of two grown daughters, Eastern North Carolinian by marriage, learning to walk by faith as a widow post ALS with a Golden Retriever named Henry.

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