Locked In

This week I learned what a true hero my husband was. Yes, I get that, we all sanctimoniously elevate our deceased loved ones to sainthood but—for real.

Thursday I had an MRI of the brain. Pretty routine until they told me they would put a cage over my face. If you’ve never had an MRI? Imagine a tanning bed that closes while having a Freddy Cougar mask over your face then locked down.

The young tech was delightful. “Mrs. Wooten are you claustrophobic?” “Mrs. Wooten I have Sirius XM what music would you like to listen too?” “Mrs Wooten are you medicated?” This made me laugh 😆 Had I known about the mask ahead of time I would have been not just medicated but “heavily” medicated.

I was put in the tube and the young gentleman asked me again “What station would you like to listen too?” “63 The Message” I said. Jesus was needed desperately. He put the cage over my head and very kindly said “Ok, I’m going to slide you into the tube now. Don’t move you will be in here about 18-20 minutes. That’s about 6-7 songs”. And I was slid into the abyss with my hands by my side unable to move one inch.

Immediately panic set in. I couldn’t remember any scripture so I just started saying the Camp Seafarer blessing 😂😂😂. My breathing slowed. Michael W. Smiths “Amazing Grace” started playing and finally I was calm.

And then it hit me: “This is ALS!” This is how my husband lived the last months of his life: unable to move “locked in” but completely aware of everything going on. And the miracle of it all is that my husband not only praised God through the whole duration of the illness? He laughed! He rarely panicked. He was so focused on living & preparing for getting out of the tube, so to speak, that he saw his circumstances as merely temporary.

What a lesson Robin Wooten taught me! Why do we think that all “bad” or uncomfortable circumstances have to be forever? Scripture clearly tells us in 2 Corinthians 4:18 “So we do not look at what we can see right now, the troubles all around us, but we look forward to the joys in heaven which we have not yet seen. The troubles will soon be over, but the joys to come will last forever” .

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